Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms
I cant say i agree with all the choice of wordings, but whatever! its just
funny as hell. Enjoy
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the
back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look
like an angry dragon.
maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the
fuck else is new.
The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this
one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get
yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely,
open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery
stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if
you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your
nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like
Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything
with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.
to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off
while you are on the shitter.
You start by
going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her
tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the
feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body
like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to
waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the
smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while
keeping your composure and piece of mind.
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of
filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie
fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts
and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn
out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The sign given to a friend in hiding while
doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head,
with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey
Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
When you see a chick with an awesome body,
"but her face", is nasty.
The Canine Special
apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick.
Good Dog. Arf!
The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl
doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the
room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits
and then proceed to titty fuck her.
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
The act of leaving a shit stain on the
rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the
Apparently somewhat on the fringe
in gay circles, but involves using thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire,
rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months,
continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus
ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your urethra.
The act of vomiting directly onto some
chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho
bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you
get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if
you were in kindergarten again.
The Compton Gangbang
meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up
going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your
place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's
about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out
of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform
a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help
The act of taking a girl in the
ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her
rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist
your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice,
you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to
bore through wood.
Originating from the fine campus
of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a
girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead
gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a
great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn
than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your
favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then
proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a
nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize
that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to
get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
A quadriplegic whore.
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the
back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most
favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head
vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A
great way to impress your friends.
is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out
partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out
partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your
gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed
snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.
A time honored event in which while laying
the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it
out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes
her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one
filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head
in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
Dog In A
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts
into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a
dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you
stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow
to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the
penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can
safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor
by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if
you're into that sort of thing).
unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal".
This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core
porn industry norm.
The Electric Chair
girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid
naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you,
she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This
causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then
mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause
erectile dysfunction after performed.
activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another
fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those
of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a
The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove both fists in
her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking
motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.
When you pull back towards the pussy after you
stick your finger up her anus.
The Fire Island
consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are
asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just
to prove that you're that demented.
one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right
when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and
set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy
and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on
her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move
forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is
still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a
long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move. The Flying
Dutchman. This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a
phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on
occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it
has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to
blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true
pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you
begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your
sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing
interesting side effects.
The Fountain Of You
sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build
up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable
geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between
her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into
With two hands, spread your
tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it
back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Any form of dropping piss all over your
partner. Great for those who like watersports.
act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your
gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just
greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's box after you
ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat
curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
When plugging your girl in the ass, you
run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out
though, just pretend it's extra lube.
of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion
jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very
When some slut who is so bad at
oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man
While intoxicated, high, or just plain
desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to
ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass.
Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your
dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog
in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if
you're slinging a small dick.
The act in which a
woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her
Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which
the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly
into a girl's mouth.
The well known added variation
to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The
vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while
69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
The Indian Cock
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft
as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
The Jedi Mind
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking
you, I'm NOT fucking you".
The Jelly Donut
Give some skank
a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting
blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.
The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you
like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get
your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip
it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita
"special" bean dip.
The act of
covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and
screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her
The act of receiving sexual pleasure
from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against
the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out.
(hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist
guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff
cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and
raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and
begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy
sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and
rams her dead square in the ass.
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard
core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start
violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick
off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive
and then toss it out the window.)
The act of
getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of
cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman's big fat titties.
Always lots of fun.
When some sadistic bitch
takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a
tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum
of the other.
A chick that's a fun ride until
your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky
and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her
cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her
period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap
your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll
love you forever.
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a
girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley
until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at
its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then
leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up
with the selfish bitch again.
Obtain a female
that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then
place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her
stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
This is actually a very fun game. Just
choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and
your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off
all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one's
finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix.
This procedure is most effective from behind.
New York Style
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her
box. Happy trails.
A variation of the Bullwinkle
in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the
act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very
bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished
by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth
and letting the tramp munch on them.
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of
a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the
While you're nailing some
girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you
get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood
memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in
half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty!
(Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl
- it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever
The Pig Roast
While you're plugging some girl's hole
doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing
your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very
Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Hate when this
happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally
pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the
The Pirate's Treasure
While fucking your girl
in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried
treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your
partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy
cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice
romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully
make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis
through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your
bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered
Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your
partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
This occurs when a woman is giving you
oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It
should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence.
Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft
hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her
head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow
for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from
behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to
anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that
you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table.
It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status
when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not
using your hands to grab onto her hips
name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the
girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her
mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place
your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest
baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during
those long sleepless nights.
The Roddy Piper
your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala
Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate
your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue
Similar to the Bronco. You start once
again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair
with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on
for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your
sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her
smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the
mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner.
Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming
nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
This is what happens when you've got a less then
respectable female (AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her
tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an
Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.
an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the
well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber
(without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your
load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a
handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while
leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when
accomplished during the spring break season.
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and
proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob
from the fruitcake on the bottom.
can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's
vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty
finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a
quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs
you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing
The term for licking or sucking
your partner's toes.
While facing in the same
direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating
some hardcore cross-country action.
professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden
skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.
The act of moving your anal lovers turds
about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the
lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra
foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays
have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in,
Ah yes, every man's worst
nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits
the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy,
and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in
her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to
you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have
been laughing their asses off at you.
fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody
member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and
brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling
of a hand job from someone else.
Stranger On The
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then
jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know
how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job
from someone else, from someone else.
chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all
over her ass.
Sud N' Fud
When trying to bang a girl, she
gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the
first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all
this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit
(or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you
watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling
of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the
sense of riding the ultimate wave.
girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove
yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear
with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on
her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip
your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind
of fucked up yoga exercise.
every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy,
and dick in mouth.
When you eat out someone
who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
A common prison act where one person
basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available.
(I.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.)
getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover
that it just happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop
though. When the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress
up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind
your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and
cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic
enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a
piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible,
but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life.
You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion.
The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort
happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?"
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the
center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to
dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so
that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use,
Same as the eastside glaze,
but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.
The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls,
tap your cock on her forehead.
The Zombie Mask
getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you
want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow
your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo,
blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will
produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms
outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.